From Individual Star to CEO
"I don't understand why the board won't make me the permanent CEO of my business unit," the female executive sighed. "It's doing exceptionally well, and I've been leading it effectively as the interim CEO. What's the holdup?"
“I can sense your frustration,” I said. “It sounds like they might be expecting more from you.”
“Yes, exactly. But they haven’t said what. I feel like I've hit a wall. I've received feedback that suggests I may need to work on my collaboration skills. Some people have said I come across as a bit intense or prickly, and that my competitiveness can get in the way of effective collaboration. It's like they want me to change who I am.”
“I understand how you feel. Perhaps it's not about changing who you are. Maybe it's about finding a way to balance your strengths with the need to collaborate effectively.”
“I can't just stop being competitive or stop focusing on my business results. That's what got me here.”
“Perhaps the board is looking for evidence that you can bring the same level of intensity to the company’s overall success, and not just your business unit.”
“I see what you mean. But it's hard to know where to start. The feedback was a bit vague.”
Then she laughed, but there was a bittersweet quality to it.
“Actually — Oh! I know this feeling! It’s like I’m back in college.“
Her eyes took on a faraway look, lost in thought.
“I was a soccer star in high school. I scored so many goals and was always the hero of the team. It was a great feeling, you know? I was so competitive and focused on winning at all costs, even if it meant stepping on my teammates to get there. But that was okay, because I was the best, and that's all that mattered to me.”
She paused, fidgeting with her hands.
“When I went to college,” she continued, “I tried out for the varsity soccer team, thinking I was going to be the star again. But the level of competition was much higher, and the expectations were different. They wanted me to be a team player, to pass the ball and work together to win. And I just couldn't do it. I found it frustrating to have to rely on others. I felt like I was losing my edge, my ability to shine as an individual. It was a hard pill to swallow. Instead of trying to work through it, I just gave up. I stopped playing soccer.”
Now, years later, with this feedback about her collaboration skills, she was getting a second chance to address the personal transformation she didn’t go through as a young adult — a second chance to become a team player.
“This time, I don't want to give up. I want to learn how to collaborate effectively while still being competitive and achieving my business goals.”
Several days later, in the middle of a strategy session, a critical decision point arose which needed a bold, courageous approach. The executive felt the familiar desire to spring into action. Instead, she found herself reflecting on her past reluctance to “pass the ball.” She paused, taking a deep breath. Recognizing the value of collaboration and wanting to involve her team members, she decided to "pass the ball" metaphorically. She shifted the focus from herself to the collective expertise in the room, encouraging open discussion and inviting her team members to share their perspectives, ideas, and solutions.
As the ideas flowed, she actively listened, acknowledging each contribution and valuing the diverse viewpoints. By consciously "passing the ball" and fostering a collaborative environment, she created an inclusive environment that sparked creativity and generated several innovative solutions.
“But It was really hard,” she told me later, after relating the strategy meeting. “You don’t know how difficult it was to hold myself back. I desperately wanted to jump in.” She paused, thinking. The she broke into a shy smile. “But you know, I actually loved watching my people play.”