Embracing Change: Redefining Leadership Through Authentic Self-Rediscovery

The journey of leadership is as personal as it is professional, a confluence of the outer world of strategy, performance, and team dynamics with the inner world of values, aspirations, and self-identity. It’s an ever-evolving journey, one that requires continuous redefinition and self-discovery, especially in an era where the only constant is change.

Contrary to popular belief, as we mature, it can become easier for us to change, let go of our old selves, and try on new, fresh personas. This idea may seem counter-intuitive; after all, isn’t it said that people become more set in their ways as they age? But consider this: maturity brings experience, wisdom, and a deep understanding of oneself. With age, our brains refine their capacity for pattern recognition and emotional regulation, turning life's complexity into clarity and resilience. Moreover, life's transitions, like the end of a career or children leaving the nest, often render us adept at reshaping our self-concept and integrating fresh experiences. These are powerful tools that can ease the process of change and enable us to embrace new identities and perspectives.

Think of when your child first left for college, or when you made a pivotal career change. The house fell silent, the office desk lay bare - a part of your life vanished, replaced by an uncertain void. But didn't we adapt, evolve, and grow, even when the changes seemed insurmountable? We learned to accept the silence, and that bare desk came to signify new possibilities, not an end. The human spirit knows how to rebound and thrive in the face of change, because we are built for survival, for growth, for transformation. Sometimes we even experience a certain rejuvenation in our shifts and changes. There's an exhilarating freedom in being a beginner again, learning anew, exploring unfamiliar territories. Have you felt that?

Imagine standing at the precipice of a grand canyon, peering into the depths below. Like the poem "Beyond Burnout" suggests, it’s in that suspended state, between ascent and descent, where we can truly see the power of change. Just as a bird launches itself into the void, trusting in its wings, we too can launch ourselves into new chapters of our lives with the wisdom and resilience garnered over the years. In the stillness of that moment, we can catch a spark of insight, a glimpse of new dreams ready to unfold.

Beyond Burnout

“Hard-won
knowledge,
authority,
and expertise,
rocket me skyward;
this has been my way.

But the stress
in my chest, the
restless nights, and
frayed connections, are
warnings I must heed.

My fuel is almost spent, I know,
my way will not propel me further.

With nothing to grasp for safety,
no knowledge, authority, or expertise;
I linger in the black stillness, suspended,
between ascent and descent.

In that stillness, a spark of insight —
I am alive; and I still have dreams.

So I extend my arms like open wings and
catch starlight particles to sail toward
the next stages of my life.”

The Executive Presence of a Maestro

“As a conductor
leads an orchestra,
so too,
can your executive presence
guide your team to greatness.

You’re a virtuoso,
I know,
you’ve been a dazzling soloist,
I know,
that’s what got you noticed.

And now, you’ll be
a brilliant orchestra conductor.

Your unique gifts,
your music, my friend,
will now inspire, and touch,
many hearts, through instruments
played by others.

Each beat of your baton,
the smallest nod of your head,
a gentle smile, a gesture so slight,
guides your team to their peak,
every instrument in perfect harmony.

Your team will play flawlessly,
I am certain, thanks to your presence.

The time is now,
so step out, my friend,
into the spotlight,
and let your presence guide the way,
through the performance of a lifetime.”

Consider the real-life journey of a senior banking executive who I had the privilege to coach. She was promoted to a role managing five large departments, in addition to her own, where she had worked for many years. Initially, she struggled to understand how to lead people doing tasks outside her area of expertise. She initially believed her role as a conductor implied mastering every instrument in the orchestra. But as she delved deeper into this belief, she realized it wasn’t true. This realization freed her to step fully into her role. She even bought a conductor's baton to keep on her desk as a reminder of her true responsibility as a leader: not to play every instrument, but to guide the orchestra towards peak performance.

Now, let's take this metaphor a step further.

I once coached a gentleman who also drew on the analogy of an orchestra conductor. However, he felt the need to be involved in lots of detail at the beginning of a project before he could step back and truly orchestrate. His actions were akin to a conductor stepping in with each musician at the beginning of a symphony, taking the instrument from the musician, and demonstrating how to play a particular piece, before moving on to the next musician. He found the image very amusing.

This realization led him to question his approach:

What would it look like if he were to truly act as a conductor, even at the beginning of the project?

Could he trust his "musicians" to know how to play their instruments without his handholding?

After some reflection, he saw new ways to transform his leadership style.

Have you noticed moments where seemingly unrelated pieces of information coalesce to form a new insight? Have you found yourself 'reading between the lines' more effectively or having more frequent 'aha' moments? Early in my coaching journey, I experienced a profound revelation. I noticed a coachee’s subtle shift in body language, which led me to ask a question not rooted in my past experience or knowledge, but in my presence. This was my 'aha' moment - the understanding that my value lay not in the answers I knew, but in the questions I could inspire, all borne from being fully present.

This this ability to deeply listen and observe, enabled me to discern subtle patterns. It was this presence that made my coachees feel heard and safe to introspect and grow, a priceless asset surpassing years of experience and knowledge.

Until then, I had a deep sense that my value, my worth even, came directly from years of hard-won experience and the knowledge that came with it. After this moment of clarity, I was left with a much deeper sense of worthiness that had nothing to do with providing guidance or answers.

In the course of writing a business novel, I found myself wrestling with the same principle. I initially set out with the intention of penning a how-to guide, but as I delved into the process, I found that such a prescriptive tone didn't feel quite right. I realized that the power lies not in dictating a specific path but in guiding readers to embark on their own journey of transformation. It was a challenge to let go of my inclination to instruct and give advice, but in doing so, I was able to present a narrative that encouraged introspection and personal growth.

I believe this is a fundamental key to having a youthful mindset. If we allow our maturing brains to rigidly cling to the idea of always having the answers, we risk becoming overbearing and tedious, saying things like, “You might think this is new, but I've seen it all before, and it won't work..." and other such things that come from a fear of becoming less valuable.

So, how can you jump-start your brain’s natural complexity processing capabilities?

Next time you're grappling with complex challenges, remind yourself of the interconnectedness of the issues. They need to be approached holistically, not linearly.

“I don’t have the answers,” you might want to say to yourself, “and my value doesn’t come from knowing the answers.”

As you sift through the chaos, note how your mind defaults to linear solutions. Remind yourself that you can't possibly have all the answers. Allow your mind to relax in the not knowing.

“My worth isn't tied to having all the solutions.”

Then, you might begin to see patterns - recurring themes, interdependencies you hadn't considered before. This intuitive comprehension of complexity might seem daunting, but it also presents a renewed sense of purpose. Your role isn't merely to solve individual problems but to guide your organization towards interconnected resolutions.

Understanding this complexity is an integral part of your leadership transformation – a step towards becoming the mature leader your organization needs.

This moment of self-awareness highlights an important aspect of this new leadership paradigm: Leaders, like conductors, must trust their team's expertise, providing guidance and vision rather than attempting to perform every task themselves.

In what ways do you lead like a great conductor?

When

In this journey of self-rediscovery, we can find joy in letting go of old dreams, even those we love dearly, to embrace new opportunities. We can learn to laugh at the limiting beliefs that once held us back, as expressed in "When". It’s about aligning our actions and words in the present moment, to perform at our best, unburdened by past expectations and future anxieties.

Remember, effective leadership is not about clinging to a singular identity; instead, it involves the adaptability to evolve and grow. It’s about understanding that our identities, like our organizations, are not static but dynamic entities. They are shaped by, and in turn shape, the world around us.

“WHEN we laugh and play
with our many identities,
when we see that all of these
are masks,
when we let go
of outdated labels
even if we still love them
very much,
then,
our genuine, authentic self
can shine through,
more complex,
more beautiful,
than any label
could possibly capture.
 
WHEN we let go of old dreams
that we still love dearly,
when we celebrate
our successes and failures equally,
when we laugh
at the limiting beliefs
that cause us to screw up
magnificently,
then,
we can live joyfully,
in the present moment,
perform at our
very best,
with our results and our words
in alignment.
 
WHEN we let go of
our expertise and authority,
when we pretend to be
junior apprentices again,
when we allow ourselves
to act like children
in spite of years of
experience,
then,
we can enjoy the thrill
of being a beginner,
embark on new journeys,
and fulfill our purpose
of bringing new creations
into the world.
 
More than all of this,
we can discover
that our nature is to thrive
and live most fully,
in times of change,
uncertainty
and ambiguity.”

The Chase

As we mature in our leadership, the chase for wisdom and youthfulness might feel like a paradox, yet, it's precisely in this chase where we find the power to continuously redefine ourselves. As expressed in "The Chase", this seeming paradox becomes the key to unlocking our authenticity, to stepping into new roles and personas with confidence and ease.

“Youth is wasted on the young,
they say.

Age brings wisdom,
as everyone
knows.

But the wrinkles on my face,
the aches in my bones,
make me wonder —
if wisdom is wasted on the old.

I have chased after wisdom while young,
and youthfulness when old.

And sometimes,
in stillness,
I catch them both.”

Thank you for being our children

Relish in the excitement of being a beginner again, regardless of your experience. View change as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery, rather than a threat. This is the authentic self-rediscovery in leadership: the understanding that our nature is to thrive, to live most fully, in times of change, uncertainty, and ambiguity.

As we step into the future, let us carry with us the resilience we were born with, a gift from our ancestors as expressed in "Thank you for being our children". We have the ability to shape time, to glimpse into the future, and to expand our sense of what’s possible.

This poem was written in the voice of your ancestors, alive or not, who would say this to you, if they could. It is a celebration of the resilience you were born with.

“Thank you
for being our children,
no matter what age you are.

Thank you
for gracing our lives
with your imagination,
your curiosity,
your resilience,
and your tireless pursuit
of your dreams.

Whenever you fall,
you always manage
to get back up.

You have never
been here
before.
You don’t know
what is coming
next.
Because you are moving
forward
on your path.

Thank you
for expanding
our sense of time.
When we look
through your eyes
and your dreams,
we can sometimes glimpse
the world
decades into the future.

Thank you
for being our doorway
to discovering
unconditional love.
When we doubt
our ability to love,
we only need to look
at our feelings
for you.

In our hearts,
we see you as perfect
in every way.
Since the day you were born.

Know
that you are
perfect daughters,
perfect sons,
perfect children.

You always have been,
and you always will be.

For being our children,
no matter what age you are,
thank you.”

The journey continues…

Take a moment to look back at your own journey. Recognize the many selves you've been, the roles you've played, and the identities you've assumed. Acknowledge the resilience it took to let go and evolve each time. That resilience is your gift, your inherent strength. Let it inspire you to embrace change with open arms and to see every ending as the birth of a new beginning.

Change is not merely a process to navigate; it’s an invitation to embrace. It prompts us to rediscover and redefine our identities as individuals and leaders.

So, let’s lean into the unknown, extend our arms like open wings, and catch the starlight particles that propel us toward the next stages of our lives.

Now, ask yourself: What change is waiting for you to embrace? What new persona is ready to be born? Let these questions guide your journey forward. Embrace your innate resilience, step into the future, and become the leader you are meant to be.